Ever been involved in an argument or fight with your partner to the point that you’ve utterly lost sight of what the original problem was, but you knew you had to just keep mulling the issue over till you found a “solution?”
Well, I suspect it’s safe to presume that most of us have been there at some particular point now and then.
But if neither you nor your partner actually want to keep arguing and fighting over something that you’ve completely lost sight of, then why keep doing it?
Are you just looking for resolution to the situation or are you trying hard to be “right?”
If your disagreeing and quarreling is only taking you and your companion further away from any kind of constructive solution or any feeling of intimacy or love, then why keep up the fight?
Find that momentary flash of sanity where you can ask, “Wait a minute. Why are we doing this?”
Then just ask your partner if they’re enjoying themselves now. Possibilities are that they will say that they are not.
Then just suggest the both of you simply drop the subject and right away follow it up by doing something the both of you can both enjoy (tickle fights seem to work rather well).
This may seem like it’s a bit too simple for some. In fact , aren’t relationships meant to be complicated and a real struggle?
What makes you think that? Why shouldn’t relationships be straightforward and pleasurable?
Isn’t that why you first got together with your partner in the first place? Things just seemed so straightforward and wonderful back then didn’t they?
Well, you do not have to give up that feeling.
There’s no reason that your relationship needs to be very challenging. Just remind yourself that you like your partner and that you ultimately need the both of you to happy together.
When you approach your relationships from this easy and minimalist viewpoint, it can become easy to just let go of meaningless and negative patterns that just send the both of you down that tired and well trodden route I like to call the “death spiral.”
So the next time you find one of those disagreements starting up, ask yourself if this is really something that’s going to lead directly to you and your partner having a more satisfactory relationship or if it is just going to be a bunch of unnecessary bickering.
If you want to know more about solving relationship problems please check out my love advice blog.